A Ray of Hope

Isolation

Mumbai, the city of dreams, filled with around 14 million people. It's quite certain that you will dash into a person at every turn you take. Even then he sits there alone tonight, surrounded by people, but yet alone.

After an exhausting day at office, this is the time when he gets to speak to himself, analyze his life and evaluate every step he has taken, every decision that he has ever made. The more he thinks over his past, the more he ends up to the same conclusion 'Life has not been fair with me'. Everyday the same chores and the same process of introspection leading to the same conclusion. Somehow he felt it is not the same day today, when he saw a ray of hope, piercing down his eyes from a distant corner. The light shone brighter on him as the time passed and suddenly he was dawned with beautiful memories from his past.


Recollection

He closed his eyes as the light grew brighter. He was led into another world. A world he had experienced before, but not the way as he was experiencing it today. He saw himself from outside his body. That freaked him out. 'It's me and it's not a mirror! How the hell is that possible?'. He was bedazzled not knowing what was going on. Then slowly it started to make sense. He realized the person in this world was a young chap going to school, enjoying his life with his friends, playing games, wandering around. He realized he was looking through a secret window that gave him a glimpse to his past.

He rejoiced many moments of his life again, this time differently. The days in school, his first crush, spending weekends playing a ball game, sleeping in his mother's lap as she told him a fictitious story and the quarrels with his sister and cousins, his college days, skipping lectures to catch up with pals and go for a movie, his first love affair, his first kiss, the graduation, his first day at job, meeting new people, making new friends, and how he has grown through all these years. A smile of satisfaction appeared on his face as he still kept running through these memories with his eyes closed.

He thought of his recent relationship, how happy he was to be with a girl he finally thought would be the one to spend his life with. How it happened, when and where it happened, he felt the same rush through his body again as if it was the first time he had met his girl. A ray of hope that he had seen then, sparkled again as he thought of every moment spent with her. He could not deny the fact that he was so much satisfied with his life and the way the cards of his life had turned up.

A deafening loud noise hammered into his brain thrashing all his memories and pulling him back to where he was, sitting right there, alone again. He looked above to find the ray of hope, it was still in the distant corner, but now fading away in the darkness of that night. The smile on his face had vanished and the rush in his body had abated. His head dropped, now looking at the ground near his feet with one question buzzing his mind 'What went wrong?'.


Frustration

Minutes felt like years as he sat there mourning over his life. His life had taken a U-turn just when he thought he was reaching his destiny. His life had fallen apart like a house of cards. He had never thought he would be parted from his loved ones and his friends in a blink of an eye. His darkest memories now started scurrying through his mind and he felt himself wincing in his chair as if he was feeling the pain all over again. Even a pinch felt like a thousand daggers jammed right into his heart. He could not scream, he could not cry, he could not die.

Drops of sweat trickled down his face as he saw another ray of hope. His knees started shaking and he did not know what to do. He was scared to take this opportunity. Scared that life might be unfair again, and the world will push him down, stamp on him and smash him under their feet. His eyes wide open, he kept looking at the light, standing there completely frozen in the moment.

He fell back in his chair more angry at himself. He wanted to barge into his inner self, scream at him, yell at him and rack his brains. 'You ain't going nowhere! You are a coward'. He couldn't believe his own impression on himself. He faced a dilemma; he wanted to prove himself wrong, but at the same time he was afraid. He thought his brain was about to explode. He pushed down a scream back in his throat, which he wanted to let out. 'Why did this happen to me? Why ME?'. He turned his head from left to right looking for an answer, and to his shock he found it.


Realization

A person was sitting right across him in another chair. 'I know this guy. I have seen him somewhere.' he thought but could not recollect where. He peered more closely. The person was reading a book, but he never looked in to the book; his mind was somewhere else. He looked upset and lost. 'Do I really know this guy?' To distract himself he looked to his right. He saw a lady standing next to him with a hint of tears in her eyes. He looked to his left and saw a middle-age person yelling over the phone at someone. Further to his left was an old man being scolded by his young son who looked like a businessman.

'You are not alone!' a voice came from within. He realized why he felt he knew the person in the chair across him. It was not the face that connected him, it was the same lost feeling that they shared. He looked up and his eyes stopped at a movie hoarding, The Lost World. 'It's not just me, it's happening to all'. But still he did not know whether to be happy, consoled, comforted or more frustrated with this realization. It is then when another ray of hope shimmered into his eyes.


Determination

He got his answer. 'You could be happy, sad, or angry with this realization. But you definitely cannot just sit there. You need to act!' He felt a warm fluid rise through his spine. 'This is my life. And it is in my hands.' He felt himself growing stronger and higher as he stood up from his chair. A sudden rush of adrenalin and his mind was focused. 'The destiny is still there. But it wont come and fall right in your lap. You need to walk the way yourself'. When you have a bad experience, you learn a lesson. And lessons help you grow and be strong. His fists started to tighten up and his chest grew with every breath that he inhaled. The sweat on his forehead had disappeared as he made himself ready for new turns, new incidents, new experiences in his life. The smile, that had left his face long back, now crawled back. His face glowed as the ray of hope glimmered upon him.

A sudden gush of strong wind blew dust, leaves and papers all around. Some people turned their backs towards the wind and closed their eyes. 'Not me! Not this time!' he said. He did not budge from his spot, still standing there as solid as a rock. He took a deep breath and pierced down the cold eyes of the ray of hope, and said 'No Matter what, I am boarding this train!'


5:45 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 comments

NOIDeA
Ok ... I have a lot to say and I didn't have internet for some days. So now, I have to puke it out all at once.

Many things have happened since last few days, just after I reached Noida (for my stay here for two months) and none of it is a usual site in Mumbai. I have had similar experiences in Delhi, so I was expecting the same here too since both cities are neighbors. But my expectations were surpassed to a very great extent.

I wanted to write about each encounter in detail but unfortunately we have not yet found the best internet service provider. Anyways, here is a gist of all the memoirs.

The Rajdhani Express
People in India look at you with their eyes wide open when you tell them you travelled in the Rajdhani Express. The reasons being
1. It is the most sophisticated train
2. One of the first fully air-conditioned trains in India
3. Travels at very high speeds
4. The fastest way to reach Delhi by land transport
5. Food and drinks (non-alcoholic) included in the fare
However, it didn't amuse me that much. The reasons being I have travelled in Garib Rath, which is
1. One of the recently added fully-ac trains in India with more hi-tech services that let you know the next station, estimated time to reach there, the speed of train, etc. (God bless Lalu!)
2. Very clean (The only train in India where I managed to use the toilet)
3. Though the food is not included in the fare, the tickets are very cheap
4. It also travels at mind-boggling speeds
The best of all trains is the 'Palace on Wheels' which runs in Rajasthan. But the fares are sky high.

Auto-Rickshaws don't have Trip meters
Yes, they charge what they feel like charging at that specific moment. You can easily bring the figure down to 50% of what he asks for. Bus transport is even worse. I guess the TCs are paid for being rude. They will push you around after giving you the ticket saying 'Hutt Hutt'.

MRP = My Retail Price
You will hardly find anything sold at MRP (except at Super malls). One of the shopkeepers had his own Price tag printer that he used to tag every thing in his shop with prices increased by 100%. Wine shops also charge 10-15 rupees extra on any bottle. They will give you reasons like 'Ab price badh gaya hai' or 'Itne ka hi milta hai'. The prices might be increased for the new stock, but what about the old stock? He got that for the old price and should be sold at the old MRP, but no, they wont. This one guy even said 'Isme se 10 rupaye sidhe Mayavati ko jaate hai'.

Horn-y Drivers and Mid-road Parkers
We have a cab that drives us from the guest house to our office and back. The driver of this cab doesn't know that the sound of the horn is not soothing to ears, he thinks it is like Kenny G playing the saxophone. He keeps honking all the way till the office. And it's not just this driver. I noticed many other people (bus drivers, private car owners, etc.) follow the same trend. May be that's taught in the driving schools here.
Another thing that amazed me is the way people park their cars. It's freaking ten feet away from the footpath, right in the middle of the road. They just come driving on the road, push the brakes and walk out of the car. There was this one wise guy who was trying to park his car the right way, but he was completely unaware of where he should be looking when he parks the car. When he was driving ahead looking for a spot to park, he kept looking on the right without even giving a quick glance at the road ahead where he was driving. Then when he found the spot to park, he started taking reverse, without looking back. One guy was almost run over by the car.



Customer (Don't) Care Services
Firstly, you will not find skilled representatives in any customer service department of any god damn service. Be it BSNL, Vodafone, Airtel, Reliance or any other you can think of. Secondly the way people speak here will make you feel like either smashing their heads or yours.

BSNL:
India's home grown communication services. It has a plethora of services from landline to 3G. But despite of all the services, they were not struck by the obvious thought of having a common customer care number for all services. Every service has a different 10-digit customer care center number, which the customer has to remember (Think of a person who has bought five different BSNL services). More over the attitude of their represetatives seems like they are not there to sell their products, instead it's like 'Lena hai to lo' attitude. Here is one of the funniest conversations with a BSNL representative.
Me: Do you have GSM Mobile services?
Rep: No.
Me: But it says here on the hoarding that you have GSM mobile services.
Rep: Hai but chalta nahi hai. [We have it but the product is not working]
Me: Meaning?
Rep: We don't sell it anymore.
Me: You have 3G services also right?
Rep: Yes.
Me: Can I get the 3G services.
Rep: You need a BSNL GSM mobile for that.
Me: And how can I get one if you don't sell it?
Rep: Eh ... Eh ...
Me: Forget it. I am not buying it anyways.

Airtel:
These guys open customer care outlets without providing knowledge to their representatives about what exactly are the documents required for getting a new connection. My colleague wanted to get Airtel broadband connection for which he was asked to provide a proof of local address. We all are new to Noida and living in our company's guest house and hence we do not have a local address proof. So he got a company letter head saying that he is currently staying at this address. The Airtel guy said that this document would not work. He also confirmed with his senior and he too said it won't work. The next day my colleague gets a call from Airtel saying that the document will work as a proof of address. Happily we went to the shop after office and handed over the document. The guy now goes back to his earlier stance, 'This document will not work'. We could not understand what made him call us back to the shop then. We went back home really pissed.

Reliance:
Another colleague of mine wanted a postpaid mobile connection. Here too he was pushed back with the criteria for local address proof. Luckily they allowed the company letter as address proofs. But my colleague didn't want to wait that long. so he asked for alternatives. The representative said he can buy a prepaid connection first, and when he gets the address proof he can get it changed to a portpaid connection keeping the same number. Some days later, he went back with the address proof when the guy said to him, 'Sorry, but we don't have any option to change prepaid number to postpaid'. The obvious words in my colleague's mouth at that time were 'What the fuck!'

Note:
I am yet to find the best internet connection here, but as per the reviews Reliance is the best in wireless with national roaming almost all over india; however, it is very expensive and they don't have any unlimited plans (they have tweaked the plans under fair usage policy which defeats the meaning of 'fair usage'). Airtel is known for good services in broadband wired connection. We are yet to figure out BSNL's network coverage and services, but we are hoping that to be good inspite of all the hassles we had to go through at the customer care center and over the calls.

Food
If you are a foodie and if you prefer Indian cuisine over the others, then you have good options in Noida. You have chaat stalls at every corner. Moreover you will never die hungry here as you also find juice stalls, paratha stalls, papad stalls, and Maggi noodle stalls wherever you go. You will also find decent quality restaurants for Indian, Chinese and Italian food. You can also find stalls of shawarmas, momos, frankies, etc. at some selected places. Luckily for me, it's just around the corner. People here prefer eating in Dhabas and at stalls and hence you don't find rush in the restaurants.
I had a funny incident at a restaurant also. It was not about the food, but the thing that happened later after we were done eating. I asked for a finger bowl and the waiter said they don't provide finger bowls as they have a wash basin. Fair enough. Then show me the way to the wash basin. He guided me to the wash basin, what I found was a hell. Any person who has to wash his hands after the meal would have to enter a toilet and use the wash basin inside it. The toilet was stinking so badly that any person who had a big filling meal would definitely puke. It seemed the hotel management wanted the food, they just served us, back on to their plates to be served to the next customer. Yuks!

G'atta'r Market
Atta market is the most famous market in Noida. You can find anything and everything you wish in this market. The Market is divided into a good half and a bad half, both separated by a main road flying over which would be the new Metro train services to be inaugurated before the end of this year. The good half has shopping malls, multiplexes and broad roads. But the bad half has 50 shop banners for every 10 feet distance. You have to stop walking for a couple of minutes every now and then to read through the boards and look for your required shop. Apart from that, the streets between these shops are like a labyrinth and just wide enough for a single person to pass through. But still the local people manage to drive bikes through these narrow streets. On top of that, the streets are full of garbage, dust, shit, sewage water, flies and other insects that will give you the most disgusting feeling you have ever had.


11 O'Clock, Sectors Blocked
The markets in Noida start closing after 7.30PM. All the restaurants close down by 9.30PM and you will just find wine shops open till 11PM. No shop open after that. They even close the gates to every sector after 11PM. Why? Because Noida is known for high crime rate. It's not at all advisable for anyone to roam around the city after 11PM. It gets too dangerous if you are alone and could be brutal if you are with your girl. Sad for a well planned city that they couldn't take care of the security.

Within the last few days, I have got the whole variety of experiences, which I think would be consistent till the end of my stay here. I am not thinking that the situations and services are going to improve in the next two months, but Noida being named as one of the hi-tech and well planned cities of India, I hope things soon get better here.
6:19 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 comments

HeadRush Paintball
It's been more than a year we have been waiting to play this adventurous game: Paintball.

Earlier this year Alpana was planning to throw a treat on her birthday by taking the whole group for a game of Paintball. But then after the Rajasthan trip, she had to fly to Philippines the next day so we couldn't do it then. Now that she is back from Philippines, she has conveniently sneaked out of that treat saying the birthday is long gone and now it's no point. So we were still yet to have our first hand at it.

Last month, we finally decided that this time we will definitely plan and go for it. The whole group was supposed to join in as everybody had time when the plan was made. But then just an hour before we met, half the group dropped out. That really pissed us off, but we so much wanted to play the game that we all just didn't let it spoil our mood and go ahead with the plan. So finally we were six guys (Me, Pedro, Nanu, Manish, Danny and Mhatre) and two girls (Rasika and Vinita). The game can be played with a team of minimum three players on each side. We could make two teams of four players each. Cool!

When we reached at the gaming area, a game was already on and we took our time to watch, analyze and build up a strategy. We were already feeling the intesity of the game and the talks between all of us had suddenly got serious. Just then some bullets splashed color on the nets that were put up for safety. The impact was so hard, firstly it made a big sound, and then splashed the color on to Pedro and Nanu who were standing a good ten feet away from the nets. We all got more serious and the girls were already changing their decision of playing the game. I noticed some hoardings put up outside the nets that explained the rules of the game, some points were written in bold:

DO NOT REMOVE YOUR MASK NO MATTER WHAT. THE BULLETS CAN CAUSE SERIOUS INJURIES TO YOUR EYES.
DO NOT FIRE FROM A DISTANCE LESS THAN 10 FEET.
ALWAYS POINT YOUR GUNS DOWN AND KEEP THE FINGER AWAY FROM THE TRIGGER BEFORE THE START OF THE GAME.

I looked at the girls and pointed towards the board. Enough to make them pee in their pants. Both the girls decided to stand out peacefully and safely and watch the guys take the hits. So now the teams dropped to three players each.

We went into the room to put on our gears. It consists of a one piece soldier outfit, a chest guard and a face mask. I was a bit shocked as there was nothing to protect my groins. If the bullets hit so hard that they can damage my eyes, it would definitely keep me gasping for air if any bullet hit my testicles. I changed my strategy, keep your balls safe throughout the game.

As we were waiting for our turn to play the game, we also decided our teams. Pedro so wanted to be in my opposite team so that he could hit me with as many bullets as he can. So Pedro, Nanu and Mhatre formed the Red team and Manish, Danny and I formed the Blue. Two other guys also wanted to play, but they didn't have a group, so they joined us, one on each side. So we were back to four per side. The Red team went to one corner and started deciding there strategy on one side of the gaming area "I'll come behind the tyres, you cover me up, you go into the bunker, yada yada yada". We, the Blue team, saw that the other team was planning so we too planned, but just for one thing. The referee whistled the game on and asked us to pick a side. We went as planned. We took the side on which the Red team had set their strategy. The Red team was shattered.

Note:
Paintball charges at Headrush, Hiranandani, Powai
1 round - 15 mins - 25 bullets - Rs. 250/- per person
3 rounds - 45 mins - 50 bullets - Rs. 400/- per person
5 rounds - 90 mins - 100 bullets - Rs. 600/- per person

We went for three rounds of hardcore first person shooting action.

Round 1 - Kill the Opponent
Simple rule. If you are hit anywhere, you are out. The team to survive wins the round. Our plan of action was that I was supposed to get behind the tyres, meanwhile Danny would run into the bunker. Manish and the other guy would give us cover. As the referee whistled, I ran towards the tyres. My face was sweating and steaming which blurred the glasses on my mask. I didn't realize that I had reached the tyres and kept running forward, nowhere but to end up colliding head on into the tyres. It took me 10 seconds to get back to my senses. At the same time Danny slipped while running towards the bunker and landed flat on the ground on his belly. The other two guys thought we ain't gonna win any of the rounds. Just then Nanu came behind the drums right in front of me and remained flat on the ground. He kept his whole body behind the drums but left his legs unshielded. I took an aim and hit him on the leg on the third shot. Nanu tried not to show anyone that he was hit, but Danny and I started to shout saying he was hit. The referee checked it and declared him out. The other guy from the Red team was popping his head out over the drums to look for the opponents. Bang! I hit him straight on his face. Man, I started loving this game. Pedro was then hit by Danny and Manish hit Mhatre. The round ended with three members left in our Team and so the round went to us. Score 1-0.

Round 2 - Bring the object back
An object would be kept in the middle of the two areas. The teams have to grab the object and bring it safely back into their corresponding area. The rule of round 1 still holds true. It was a difficult task since the paintballs guns are heavy and running with it and then picking up the object would be really tough. But the guy who had joined our team was very athletic. He put his gun aside and asked Manish to cover him up. He ran towards the bump on which the object was kept, jumped over it and picked it up while he was mid air into his jump. He quickly ran into a bunker next to me and handed over the object to me. I took it and ran back into our area. The task which seemed difficult was completed within 3 minutes. The Red team didn't even get to take proper covers and they did not understand when we reached the bucket and took it back. We won. Score 2-0. On top of that the winning team is given 50 extra bullets as bonus. We checked our guns for remaning bullets and divided the bullets accordingly.

Round 3 - Blood Shed
Rules? There are no rules! Go on firing at your opponent as if you are on a rampage. The team with most number of hits wins. This round was just a formality for us as we had already won the match by winning two rounds. But we still wanted a clean sweep. We knew that Mhatre and Nanu are rampage speciallist and they did stand to their reputation. Nanu came running towards us firing non-stop. But fortunately he was out of bullets soon after that and was hit by Manish's bullet. Mhatre came running towards me from the other side and stood right next to the tyres where I was hiding. I objected and told the referee that the distance is less than 10 feet. He was disqualified. Somewhere during this rampage, Danny and the other guy from our team went out of bullets. Now it was two per side. We could feel the adrenalin pumping in our bodies. Just then Pedro was out of bullets, but he still pretended he had bullets and kept firing. He was given a big 5-6 rounds of firing all over his body. He was completely exhausted and started panting. The last man from the Red team was brought down soon after that. The referee counted the number of hits on each side. The difference was spectacular, 8 to 3 in our favor. It was a clean sweep. Score 3-0.

The girls cheered all of us out of the arena. We were sweating from every pore of our skin. Everyone was panting now. Pedro had gone two shades lighter from his original tan due to steam and sweat. But he was still cursing himself for not hitting even a single bullet to me. It was a memorable game for all us, since after a long time we all had behaved like teens again and enjoyed every moment of it. Moreover, it also made us realize how tough it must be for the soldiers who do this not as a game but as a duty on the battleground, where you don't have extra lives but it's a matter of life and death, where bullets splash color but that's your blood, where if you are hit you are dead.

The day ended with Chicken Tandoori, Chicken and Mutton Masala, Naans and loads of water and beverages.

5:02 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 comments

Ain't No Sunshine Now That He Is Gone
I was woken up today to the heart-sinking news of the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson (29th Aug 1958 - 25th June 2009). The king was found breathless at his home and was rushed to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center immediately, where he was declared dead due to cardiac arrest.


It's very tragic that this has happened just 15 days prior to his visit to UK, the time when Michael was supposed to go live for his comeback concert. The legend, whose music has blessed the last four decades and made this world a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race.

He is the undisputed King of Pop music with huge hits like Thriller, Dangerous, Bad, HIStory and many more. Our generation has grown up listening to his music and yes, we do still remember the time. This is a tribute to the Moon-Walker, The King of Pop, The Legend, Michael Jackson.

















































May his soul rest in peace. Amen!

10:53 AM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 0 comments

Asia Miles Frequent Flyer Programme ... No Good
I am back with yet another experience. This time it didn't go my way.

There are several frequent flyer programmes that reward you in terms of miles/points whenever you take a flight with their partner airlines. One of such reward scheme is provided by AsiaMiles.com. However, I got lost in the labyrinth of their criteria over the class and the sub-class of flights. There rewards scheme is based on the sub-classes of the flights, which are not visible on any of the air ticket reservation sites. I tried to earn the reward points by providing my flight details on the AsiaMiles website after which I had to write several mails to them to understand this issue. The following are the series of mails that flew to and fro.

Mail 1: From Me To AsiaMiles
I need to add my miles to my account for the following flights:
1. CX-684 Feb 11, 2009 From Mumbai to Hong Kong
2. CX-919 Feb 11, 2009 From Hong Kong to Manila, Philippines
3. CX-918 Feb 15, 2009 From Manila, Philippines to Hong Kong
4. CX-683 Feb 15, 2009 From Hong Kong to Mumbai

Please do the needful.

Mail 2: From AsiaMiles To Me
Dear Mr Malvankar

Thank you for getting in touch with Asia Miles.

This is to explain why we are not able to credit Asia Miles to your account for the following activities:

10 February 2009 CX684 Mumbai - Hong Kong
11 February 2009 CX919 Hong Kong - Manila
15 February 2009 CX918 Manila - Hong Kong
15 February 2009 CX683 Hong Kong - Mumbai

Mileage credited is based on the fare class booked and shown on the air ticket. However, your ticket was purchased in fare class ‘S’ which is not eligible for mileage points.

For more information, please log on to www.asiamiles.com and then click “Earn Miles”, “Airline Partners”.

Kind regards
Eva Lui
Customer Relations Executive
Membership Administration
Asia Miles Service Centre

Mail 3: From Me To AsiaMiles
Could you please let me know the following:
1. In which clause is it mentioned that S class tickets are not eligible?
2. Why is this criteria laid for excluding S class tickets from reward points eligibility?
3. What other class tickets are available and are they eligible for Asia miles reward points?
4. Why are the criteria not mentioned at the time of booking tickets?

I was unaware of the facts that firstly my tickets were S class and secondly S class is not eligible for reward points.
Hence, I would request you to consider this request and allot me the reward points.

I would highly appreciate your cooperation.

Thanks,
Chandan Malvankar

Mail 4: From AsiaMiles To Me
Dear Mr Malvankar

Thank you for your e-mail.

This is to explain that there are various different subclasses within Economy Class which are eligible for mileage accrual. Mileage credits can be earned on qualifying air tickets and are based on the sub-class booked. Mileage is not awarded on award travel, prize, group and other special discounted or restricted tickets.

As your flights were booked in sub-class "S", which is a special fare and does not include a mileage accrual proposition, the activities were not recorded in your account.

For your reference, the following Cathay Pacific and Dragonair sub-classes are currently eligible for mileage accrual in Asia Miles:
First Class (150%): F & A
Business Class (125%): J, C, D & I
Economy Class (100%): Y, B, H, K, M, L & V

Excluded from the above, the sub-classes are not eligible for mileage accrual in this instance.

Kind regards
Eva Lui
Customer Relations Executive
Membership Administration
Asia Miles Service Centre

Mail 5: From Me to AsiaMiles
Hi Eva,

I agree with the fact that the criteria has been laid that sub-class S is not eligible for reward points.
But my point is that, selecting the sub-class is not in the customer's hand.
That is, I did not select the sub-class S. It was automatically assigned by the website/agents/whoever does that.

Attaching some screen shots for your reference. Details of the screenshots are as follows:
1. Screenshots from ClearTrip.com, MakeMyTrip.com and Travleocity.com, which are the major air ticket reservation websites. They have the option to select only the class and not the sub-class.
2. Screenshot from air ticket booking page of Cathay Pacific website. They too do not have the option to select the sub-class.
3. My e-tickets snapshots for the round trip from Mumbai to Manila. The tickets also do not mention any thing about the sub class.
4. My boarding pass for the flights also do not mention anything about the sub-class. Unfortunately, I do not have it scanned right now, but I can provide you the same if required.

My questions to you are:
1. How am I suppose to verify your statement that I travelled on sub-class S is true, when there is no mention of it on any of the documents?
2. Why am I supposed to bear the loss (of not getting reward points) for something I did not do myself?
3. Since you have these specific weird conditions on your reward point scheme, then why is the option to select the sub-class not with the customer?

I think this time I have put my point very clearly and I hope you understand.

My request to you after mentioning all these facts is that since I did not select the sub-class myself, I would appreciate if the rewards points are still credited to my account by assuming I travelled in some eligible sub-class of the Economy class.

This is my very first experience with AsiaMiles and would like to continue travelling with your partner airlines.
I have liked the services provided on and off the flight and it would be great if the same level of cooperation and consideration is provided by you too.

Regards,
Chandan Malvankar

No reply from AsiaMiles

Mail 6: From Me to AsiaMiles
Hi Eva,

Would you please be kind and reply to this mail?

Regards,
Chandan Malvankar

No reply from AsiaMiles

Mail 7: From Me to AsiaMiles
Hi,

This is my third and final mail to you before I write a bad feedback about Asia miles on all the major websites.
Is this how you handle all your customer queries, by just not replying?

Respond immediately.

Chandan Malvankar

This time I get a call from AsiaMiles
The AsiaMiles representative explained me the criteria again and told the following:
  • The sub-classes are visible when you book the tickets through the websites of their partner airlines. [And we are suppose to know this? Besides, how many people book tickets directly through the airline websites anyways?]
  • They do not have control over the air-ticket reservation websites like Cleartrip.com and Travelocity.com. Hence, these sites do not show the option of sub-classes. [So is that my fault that you have launched a scheme but did not think about the necessary interfaces required?]
  • The sub-class is not printed on any of the documents you are provided (e-ticket, boarding pass, etc.) since it is specific to the flight and not class in which you travel. [Here is a condition that is not visible, but still exists]
  • However, the sub-class is visible on the receipt that you get after making the payment and confirming the ticket. [What is the use of knowing the class after paying the money? I can't change it now, nor do I have the time to go through all this crap]
  • It is the customer's responsibilty to check the sub-class and see if you that class is eligible for the reward points. [I agree it is the customer's responsibility, but don't make us play hide-and-seek or treasure hunt games]
  • We cannot make an exception and give you the reward points. The rules are well-defined. [Thanks a lot. You have been very kind enough to prove that no matter what, you are right. I am waiting for the day you guys come out with a reward scheme in which a person earns points only if he dies, and only he can claim the reward points]
I also came across some bad review on Asia Miles on the net. These guys too faced similar problems as mine. Here are the links:

So, my personal experience with AsiaMiles has been bullshit. It might be a one off case, but I don't want to put myself through all this shit again just to confirm that it was a one off case.

8:23 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 comments

All over a Crap
This story gives more meaning to my recently acquired name ... Crappy. It was in September 2008 during my visit to USA.

A word of caution, if you are a heart patient or can not stand disgusting stories, this one is not for you.

Here I was, standing at the boarding queue at Mumbai International Airport, excited to fly to the US for the first time. In fact it was the first time I was ever gonna be on a flight, so that doubled the excitement. The journey was going to be quite exhausting, 15 hours, and I had two stop overs, one at New York and the other one at Raleigh, before I reached my final destination, Atlanta.

I had already checked-in online and reserved a window seat for myself. I did not expect then that I would be accompanied by a stinky lady (gosh! if you are reading this, please start using a deodarant) and a fat ass man, who would block my way every time I had to go to pee and would make the already uncomfirtable situation even worse. I realized that the window seats are not advisable for frequent fliers who are also frequent 'pee'ers. I had a colleague, who was also flying along with me, but he was seated very far away.

The flight took off! A blood rushing experience. I loved the feel of gravity pulling me down tight on the seat while the plane tried to pull me up and higher. I had to constantly keep gulping air to avoid my ears from shutting down due to air pressure. Soon we were 1500 meters in the air and Mumbai was more visibly clear that from the ground, because from that height you cannot see the clouds of dust you find wherever you go in Mumbai. Moreover, since I was flying during the night, Mumbai seemed to be some kind of jewelry. It was awesome. The unexpected shakes in the plane due to the turbulences made the journey more adventurous.

By the way, did I tell you that Delta airlines have the oldest air hostesses in the world? So when you are traveling on Delta, push aside all your dreams and fantasies of meeting hot, well endowed blondes that ask you if you need any 'services'. Instead, think of all the nightmares where you are surrounded by grannies with loose, wrinkled, weary skin and yellow, chipped dentures. One more thing, if you ever happen to travel to the US, think twice before opting for a Delta flight coz they charge heavy on extra or overweight baggage, flat $150. Also, the food on Delta airlines is substandard. The lady next to me had ordered a veg meal and she was given some boiled vegetables and steamed rice. So I went for the non-veg meal. After all, how bad can you cook a chicken? It was at least eatable. I wanted to call for a glass of wine or whisky but since it was my first time, I didn't know that it is served for free. Damn!

Anyways, the first flight was for 10 hours and I spent around 6 hours watching movies (What happens in Vegas and The Bucket List, a must watch for movie lovers), a couple in a short naps, and another couple looking out of the window. In the mean time I also disturbed the people next to me three times while going for a pee. This one time the fat ass guy took so much time to get off his seat and make some way for me to pass by, had he took a second more I would have wet my pants.

But the story is not about all this crap. It is actually about the 'crap'. I always get a feeling of disgust when it comes to using the public toilets. I advoid using public toilets as much as I can. For peeing it is ok, but when it comes to taking a crap, I would rather prefer it to be a cleaner place. Don't know how many asses sat on this toilet. I don't mean that toilets in planes are not clean, but since it was my first time, I wasn't comfirtable. Also, I tried to fit myself in the 2x2 feet toilet of the plane, but couldn't. So I had to hold on to the pressure.

In the morning, as the flight took the descent for landing, my crappy pressure was on the ascent. It felt like the increasing gravity was actually trying to pull it out of my ass. I had to fight the war of my life to hold it back in and avoid any embarrassment. The flight landed with a thud. While everyone was cursing the pilot for a bad landing, I was thanking him form the bottom of my heart, coz the jerk had pushed the shit a bit inside, buying me some time to clear the security checks and find a toilet. However, I realized that this was a punishment for something I did in the past life (may be I kicked someone's ass so hard that he couldn't shit again). We (me and my colleague) just had 40 minutes stop over time and people who had already been there said that we would definitely miss our next flight. So if I had to crap, it would be after boarding my next flight, to Raleigh.

We cleared the security checks just 5 minutes ahead of time to reach the boarding lane for our flight, where we discovered that some other flight was being boarded and the boarding for our flight would start after 20 mins. Great! So I have time to relax my butt. I gave the custody of my baggage to my colleague and ran to the closest toilet I could find. Thuddddd!!!! Zippppp!!!! Phhhhhrrrrr!!!!! Wuuuuhhooooowwww!!!! I was as relaxed as a mother after giving birth to a baby. Thank you dear god for delaying the flight!

As I was sitting in the stinky vapors, my colleague ran in to the restroom area and started yelling out my name from outside. I was so embarrassed. Damn! Now everyone would know that it was me who was exploding fire crackers in the toilet. But who else knows me here, other than my colleague? So I yelled back "Kya Hua Be?". He replied, "Abbey, our flight has started boarding, you better be quick". I was done with the main act and was already proceeding towards the concluding act, so I thought I would manage to make it on time and said "Ok. Coming in two minutes".

The concluding act after a crap, for Indians at least, means washing your ass clean with water. But the Americans save water where you actually need it. They just wipe off their asses. It was similar to what Alanis Morisette sung in the song Ironic: "It's thousand spoons when all you need is a knife". In this case for me it was: "It's thousand toilet rolls when all you need is a jet". It was my first experience of cleaning up the mess with a sheet of paper and no water. No matter how well you clean it with a paper, it always gives you a feeling of "something is still there" and that gave me goose bumps throughout my journey till the hotel.

I zipped up my pants, washed my hands and ran towards the boarding queue. We handed our boarding passes to the attendant and he said the three golden words that kept ringing in my ears for the next 5 minutes ... "Flight took off!". Apparently, the flight had finished boarding and taken off. They had started boarding the next flight. That bloody attendant had told me the flight will not board until next 20 minutes and the flight had already finished boarding and taken off in just 15 minutes. I looked at my colleague. He was so pissed off at me as we had missed our flight coz I was in the toilet taking a crap. But he couldn't say a word to me as he was a junior to me and this was our first project together.

I did not know what to do next. Will they put us on some other flight? Do we need to pay for that flight? Or are we stuck at the New York Airport? I imagined myself like Tom Hanks from the Terminal spending the next few months at the airport. I asked the attendant what to do and he guided me to the service desk. Behind the desk was a lady holding her head and cursing the headache. I thought this would be the worst time to speak to her, but I had no choice. "Excuse Me, we have missed our flight to Raleigh. Our luggage is on the flight. What should we do?" I asked. She came back with the million dollar question, "Why did you miss the flight?" It was so embarrasing for me that the next words took ages to come out of my mouth, just like Atal Bihari Vajpayee, "Be...cause ... because I ... I ... was in the ... the restroom". She flared her nose and pushed her eyebrows up to her forehead with surprise ... No, with shock. I am sure I was the first person to miss a flight over a crap. She did not say a word for the next 10 seconds, but then she realized she needs to speak something here, "Ehhh! Ok! Hang on!". Thank god she didn't ask anything further.

She checked the flight schedule and said "There is a flight at 4PM for Atlanta, but you will have to wait in the Airport premises until then." It was 9AM at that time and spending 7 hours at the ariport did not seem viable to us. "Is there any other way?" I asked. She checked again and said, "There is another flight from Laguardia Airport, which will leave at 10.15PM. But for that you need to catch a cab and be there before 9:40AM. It is 40 minutes in a cab from here. That is not possible, plus you have to pay $80 for the cab". So we had to go for the 4PM flight. We both agreed on the 4PM flight and asked the lady to check us in. The next thing was a surprise.

She keyed in our names for the 4PM flight, when she noticed that the attendant at the boarding queue had already checked us in for the flight from Laguardia to Atlanta. This was a mistake from the airport crew, they boarded us in a flight without asking us for our preference. I didn't think of it as a mistake, but the lady herself admitted it. She wrote a traveller's check of $80, gave it to me and said, "There would be a cab named Roskstar waiting for you outside the airport. Give this to the cab driver. He'll take to Laguardia airport for your next flight". This journey was really turning out to be rocking. I was amazed with the quality, speed and the level of services being provided by the airport authorities. God bless America!

We took the cab, reached just in time at the Laguardia airport and boarded on to our flight to Atlanta. it was a 2 hour journey, which passed by smoothly looking at the chick across the aisle; tall, slim, cute looks, mini-skirt, perfect bust ... Man! She was Grrrrrrreeeeeaaaatttt!

We reached the Atlanta Airport and started looking for our baggage. We learned from the service desk that the flight from Raleigh to Atlanta had already landed and our baggage would be on aisle number 6. We could not find our baggage on aisle 6 or any other aisle and feared that our baggae was misplaced. We went to the baggage counter and showed them the baggage numbers stuck on our boarding passes. She went into a room and brought out the baggage which was safely placed in a corner after no one claimed for it for half an hour. Again I was very impressed with the organized work.

I was happy that everything ended well. Otherwise I would have had to face a lot of embarrassments from my colleague, the airport authorities and most importantly, my managers, and that too, all over a crap!

4:47 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 0 comments

Process of obtaining a Birth Certificate … The BMC way
This is something I recently discovered and I am happy that I worked it out quite well and got it done.


All the text henceforth in this write-up is with respect to my experiences with Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) and how you should portray yourself to the BMC guys to get this done as quickly as possible.

When you travel to certain countries on a Work Permit, you are required to furnish a legalized copy of your Birth Certificate (BC) at the time of Visa stamping.

Apart from this what they need is that the BC copy should not be more than 6 months old (Issue date should be less than 6 months from current date).

Note: If you have an old copy of the BC, then check which Ward does your birth place fall in and go to that corresponding BMC office.

Pre-requisites for the visit:

  1. The old copy of your BC.
  2. Duly filled up application for issuing new copies (the form would be available at the BMC office).
  3. A smile on your face (remember smile goes a long way … and a must have while visiting any Government/BMC office).
  4. Speaking Marathi language is a sort of mandate in Mumbai offices. It will help you get the work done 10 times faster, believe me.
  5. Make up a story to show the urgency.

So, I start my journey to give the first visit to the BMC office.
I filled out the application for issuing the new copy of BC and stood in the long queue awaiting my turn. There were around 10 people ahead of me in the queue and each took at least 10 minutes. Thankfully, one of the BMC officials was once struck with a bolt of lightning due to which he was forced to use some part of his minuscule brain and come up with the idea to put two counters to process the applications. So my estimated time in the queue was reduced to half, but still approx. 50 minutes. Meanwhile, there were people trying to jump the queue on which I had to keep a good eye. Some of these are genuine (like they were in the queue before and had gone to get some approvals, blah blah blah) and some are genuine “queue jumpers” (like they were born to do that). A few quarrels here and there over your number in the queue are anticipated. Do not get frustrated with them and remember you have to hold the plastic smile on your face, just like the bride and the groom at the wedding reception).

Finally, after 45 loooooong minutes, I am at the counter. I handed over my application to the officer behind the glass window (the window which has not been cleaned since 1961, and has the remnants of oil and sweat from the faces of millions of people, probably my great grandfather too). The officer looked at the papers and asked me “Is the computer entry done for this?” I was stumped. I thought the BMC must have already got all the entries computerized, but then I realized I had very high expectation from the BMC. The fact is BMC only converts those BC to electronic forms for which they receive an application. The rest are still lying in the gigantic registers that eat up more space than humans in any BMC office. So now, after 45 minutes I come to know that I would have to spend whatever time I spend in this queue again after I get the BC in electronic format. Happy realization!

Note: The new copy of BC can not be printed unless it is available in the electronic format. You can check the same at this link: http://www.mcgm.gov.in/irj/portal/anonymous/qlbirthcertificate. If it is not available there, you need to do what I did next.

The officer directed me to a room two levels upstairs. I got there to find a lady already in a sulking mood and ready to bite into any piece of meat that comes her way. But I kept my composure and also the smile (it had already started shrinking). I told the lady that I need to get my BC computerized. She took a good look at the papers. I already had the intuitions that she would just give me another pointer, and that’s exactly what she did, “This BC is from the year 1982. You need to go to Mr. Dalvi in the next room”. I was surprised. Is BMC actually that organized that they have different people assigned to different ranges of years, or is it just that the lady wanted to shift a little burden off her plate? No time to look for answers, I had to contact Mr. Dalvi.

Mr. Dalvi, a typical Marathi Manus, put in the typical Marathi Manus job, Clerical work at the BMC office. He was surrounded by 5-6 people, all with requests similar to mine and Mr. Dalvi was more than happy to spend his office hours like he would spend them at home on any other day, roaming around, speaking to his friends, what’s up with IPL and how he banged his wife the other day. That’s just too much exaggeration. The last topic is never discussed in Marathi Manus life.

After everyone got a date of later than two months from now, I got my chance to put my request forward. I handed over my papers to Mr. Dalvi and told him I need to get this computerized. Mr. Dalvi, as relaxed and lazy as he could be, took the biggest effort in his life of picking up the paper from my side and kept it on the other side under a paper-weight. He then put his hands behind his head and let out a big yawn, looked at me with dozing eyes and said “Come after two months”. I stood there in a shock for more than 5 minutes without speaking a word. Actually I did not know what to say to this guy. He was just creeping on to my nerves. Right then he re-iterated, “Bola na! Come after two months”. Slightly pissed off I decided to ask him about how much pain in his ass it would be that he is asking for two month’s time. But, since I had to keep my cool it came out this way, “Do you mind letting me know what is the process involved behind getting this done?” It worked. Mr. Dalvi could not get back at me with an angry tone. He said, “Need to find register, need to find entry, need to get it fed into the computer, too much work”. That’s it? That’s the only process behind it? I am sure Mr. Dalvi must be spending more time picking his nose than finding a BC entry. I asked, “Could I help you out with finding the entry?” and he goes “If I let you I have to let everyone find their own entries. Aisa thode na chalta hai?” Now I didn’t have a comeback. I knew that it was just a couple of minutes’ task, but I couldn’t find a way to get this done before two months. Slipping a 100 rupees note into his pocket would be a very orthodox thing to do and is out of fashion these days due to numerous sting operation scams. So I decided to do a little Emosanal Atyachaar!

I changed my smiling face to a bit sunken. I said (in marathi), “Saheb, I need to fly next month for which I need the BC done at the earliest. Please re-consider. I would be thankful to you”. Saheb (formerly Mr. Dalvi) glanced at my face and then his emotions, from one Marathi Manus to another Marathi Manus, started to take over. He asked me to leave my contact number and he will get in touch in a couple of days. Hurray! A bit of emotions and marathi had done the trick for me. I went home happily thinking it would all be sorted out now. Little did I consider the Marathi Manus talent of “How fast can you forget?”.

Two days passed and yet I didn’t get a call back from Mr. Dalvi. I was anyways not expecting a call back and had already decided to visit him again anyways. And so I did. Mr. Dalvi was not at his desk, but a pile of applications was lying on his desk. I searched through the pile and found my application, Mr. Dalvi had hand-written some number on it. I was happy to know that he had processed the application as promised. I folded one corner of the application, to allow quick search when Mr. Dalvi is back at his desk, and stood there waiting for him. After around 15 minutes, the Saheb was back. “Hello Saheb, I had come that day to get my BC done. I think it’s done and it is in that pile of papers” I said. Mr. Dalvi replied, “This pile, this is not done yet”. I closed my fist so tight I almost broke a bone. I told him again that I have to get this done within this week or else I might lose the opportunity of going abroad. He asked for another couple of days time. I went back home, this time without any hopes. I was expecting the same old story to be repeated after a couple of days.

Two days later, I am back at Dalvi’s desk (forget Saheb and the title of Mr.). I had made up my mind that this time it would be it. I said, “Hello. I had come the other day … (ditto from previous para)”. Dalvi looks up at me and goes “Who are you?” That was it! I got so furious that I was about to throw up a shit load of abusive puke on to him. But I held myself back.

Me: “I am Chandan. You had called me back after two days”.

Dalvi: ”You are Thorat right?”

Me: “No, I am Chandan Malvankar.”

Dalvi: “You said Thorat that day.”

Me: “I said Chandan Malvankar.”

Dalvi: “I thought you said Thorat.”

Me: [Cut this shit out] “So what did you do.”

Dalvi: “I processed some Thorat’s application.”

Me: [Hell No] “Let me see that pile” (I grabbed the pile and started looking for my paper. Found it. Handed it to Dalvi).

Me: “Is this application done?”

Dalvi: [No] “Is it urgent?”

Me: [For the thousandth time YES] “Yes. It is urgent. I need it today itself”.

Dalvi: [shrugging his shoulder] “Okay”.
He went to one of the cupboards in the room on which a list with paan stains was stuck. He looked through the list to find a register number, went to an unorganized rack full of dusty old registers, with papers so old, you touch them and they get torn apart. He then picked up the register number 55 and opened the first page from where he noted down certain number onto my application.

Dalvi: “Come back after 15 minutes. I’ll get this entry done on computer”

Me: [It’s now or never. Do it right now!] “I need to rush back to office. Please see if you can get this done right now”.

Dalvi: “Hmmmm”.
He walked to another room where the smoldering lady I mentioned earlier was seated. This time the lady was in a better mood I guess. She took the application and made the entry on the computer. That’s it! My BC was finally in the electronic form. Yipppeeee! Now it’s just the matter of getting print outs.

I ran downstairs to join the queue, which I feared to be long again and would take another 45 minutes to get pass through to the counter. I don’t know if it was by god’s grace or was it just because I took a bath in the morning, but it was my lucky day. There were just two people in the queue, so my turn came in just 10 minutes. I handed the application checked the name, address, etc, paid him the printing charges and Taaaadaaaaa!!! It was done. I could not believe how much the BMC crib about the work load, which, if they do in a systematic way, could be done in minutes. They have been prone to piling up the work and then do it in one go on the last day of the month, 'coz that is when the salary arrives and they need to show their superiors that they do work their asses off.

So, to summarize, do not believe in the dates that BMC officials give you. Any BMC work can be done within a day. You just need to push the tempo by using your own work around.

Note: There is also a process of legalization of your BC. For this you need to visit the Ministry of External Affairs and get this done. This will just require one visit to the office. For people who work in corporate offices, they can get the legalization done through their travel desk authorities avoiding the hassle of doing it personally.

Hoping to tumble over many such experiences and enlightening mankind about how to overcome the lethargic attitude of the Government and BMC officials.

Adios!
Chandan

1:07 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 comments