Showing posts with label mumbai. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mumbai. Show all posts

Let It Burn
Mumbai is burning! he said as he poured himself another drink. We were at a local bar in Andheri. There was a television mounted high up on the wall behind the manager's counter. It was showing a report on Kasab's trial, when this person on the next table started staring at the television with a rage. Most of the others in the bar ignored the guy because he was inebriated. But this was not just another drunk guy. The guy was in late 50s, with half of his hair turned gray. His face had a character grown in it with every wrinkle on his face trying to tell a story. A story that turned that night into a dead silence.

'Calm down uncle. Don't worry. Kasab will get a death sentence.' I said in a friendly voice to calm down this drunk man who I thought could have created a scene. He turned his head towards me and looked straight down my eyes, with an anger. That really gave me shrills for a second. Why did I take this on to me? I thought. 'And then what? Will Mumbai stop burning?' I took a while to understand the question. It seemed like a rhetoric, but this guy was waiting for a response. Besides, Mumbai was burning a year ago when Kasab massacred innocent people at the Taj Hotel and other areas in town. 'I am just saying ...' I was interrupted before I could finish. He got up and moved next to my friend on the opposite side of our table. For the next half an hour we were just the audience to a drunk man, with a heart full of pain, frustration and anger and a growing rage towards this city of dreams.

 Mumbai has been burning for a while now kid. And it wasn't Kasab who started it. And it's not ending with his death sentence. Mumbai will continue to burn. You know why? Because we can't do anything about it. And even if you try, they will not allow you. [laughs sarcastically]

'Mumbai is burning! Nana, Mumbai is burning! And the Muslims are around the corner killing every Hindu they find. They are coming to kill people in our chawl!' My younger brother came running with this news after the 1992 blasts. I was quite young then, with warm blood running in my veins. I went down with many other young men from our chawl like soldiers on a mission to guard our families. It was the worst war of religions Mumbai had faced since 1947. We were around 25, each equipped with a hockey stick or a cricket bat. We stood by the gate of our chawl creating another wall. I could still feel the adrenalin when I think of that moment. Just then we heard screams from around the corner. We all stared down the road expecting the worst. And worst it was. A man tumbled and fell down near the corner. As he fell down, his head separated from his body and rolled down right in the center of the lane. My hands went numb. Suddenly the weapons in our hands, hockey sticks and cricket bats, seemed meager. We felt weak. Three of the guys ran away, while a couple of them went back in the chawl and came out with knives, hammers and spades. We were still weak in front of the swords. They killed six of us before the police arrived. But their lives did not go in vain. We managed to hold back the mob and keep our families safe. I lost mine though. My brother. He took the blow from the wildly swung sword of the leader of the mob, Abdul Qadir, brother of the then corporator. It slit his throat and the blood came out rushing like a tap left open. He could not scream and I could not help. Within moments his body went pale leaving him dead in the pool of his own blood.

Few days later, I filed a case against Abdul Qadir to get justice for my dead brother. Nothing happened. He was saved. You know by whom? A Hindu! A fucking Marathi Maanus! A minister who got the case closed for a few seats and Muslim votes that were assured to him by Abdul's brother. That's when I realized it wasn't a war of religions, it was a war for powers. Abdul is an MLA now. I feel like killing myself whenever I look at his posters by the road side.

I somehow managed to pull myself out from the dreary memories of those bloody events. I had two beautiful kids. Tanmay and Sakshi. Tanmay has grown into a man now, just like me when I was young, with warm blood. Sakshi [his voice sunk] she was an angel. Beautiful as her mother. She had just turned 18 that day when she went out for a party with her friends at Juhu. The girls were returning back home when they noticed a bunch of guys were harassing a girl in a secluded lane near the beach. The girl seemed from a rich family. Sakshi along with her friends walked into the lane keeping a safe distance from the scene so that if the guys made a move towards them they could run away. She screamed 'Hey! Leave her alone! I have called the police. Go away! Leave her!' What she didn't realize that a part of the gang was standing and entrance of the lane, from where she walked in, keeping a watch and looking out for trouble. They had moved in now blocking their way out. They started screaming out loudly and soon started crying. There were bystanders, and they did their job. By being just the fucking bystanders. Sakshi was brought home by the police, clothes torn and dried blood on her legs. All the girls were raped that night.

We filed a case against the guys, all the guys the girls could recognize. They were all sons of big-shots from Mumbai's richest lot. They all got bailed out. The cases were closed due to no evidence. You know who saved them? The girl who was being raped initially, who Sakshi and her friends tried to save. You know why? She was the daughter of another big-shot who totally put the case under covers without letting her daughter's name out in public. Like it never happened. As if his daughter was never raped. [snaps his fingers] It was that easy for him. But what about my daughter? Who would marry a raped girl from a middle-class family? This thought tortured and tormented my child every day after the incident until one day she decided to put an end to it. She walked down the same lane where she was raped, and she kept walking. She kept walking until she met the sea, which grabbed her into it's depth with a huge roaring wave.

The next day, my hands started shaking as I covered my child with logs of wood. It's not easy to light your loved ones on fire even when they are dead. I could not believe my family was halved in one day. We were four before, now we were just two. Yes, just two! My wife couldn't bare the shock of her daughter's death. She died of a massive heart attack as soon as the news was delivered to us by the police that our daughter's body was found by the shore. I couldn't believe half of my family was watching the other half being burnt to ashes, helplessly. It was devastating.

Since last few years, it's just been the two men at home now. I have learned to cook and so has Tanmay. But he prefers washing the dishes as he doesn't want me to do that work. He is my only hope and the only reason to live for. He doesn't like me drinking, but he doesn't stop me too. He knows ... I know.

[looking at the television in anger] We were at Colaba, feet away from Leopold when this motherfucker blew it up. We ducked down hiding ourselves behind a street-side handcart. Tanmay peeped out from one side. Two guys had flung a couple of grenades into the restaurant and had now ran up the stairs into the restaurant firing rounds of bullets blindly. He turned to me and said 'Anna, they are killing people there. They've blown up the place. They are burning Mumbai Anna! Our Mumbai is burning! We need to help them.' My eyes were wide open with shock, terror and fright. I looked at Tanmay. His eyes had the same rage of a warrior, as I had back in 1992. I held his hand as tightly as I could. I could feel the warm blood rushing through his body. If I let him go now, I might not see him again, just as my other family members. I was weak now. I would not be able to take another ruthless blow from life.

My feet went numb and I was drenched in sweat. My arms started shaking as I held on to his arm and started crying. [a tear trickled down his face as he narrated] 'Let it burn son! Let it burn!'.

2:41 AM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 comments

Four-Four-Two-Two-Four-Four-Two-Two
4-4-2-2-4-4-2-2 ... That's Meru!

This birthday, I had decided to treat myself in a lavish way and so, for the first time, I decided to go to my aunt's place in a Meru cab. Anticipating the meter fare to go somewhere in the range of 600-700 bucks, I was carrying cash in surplus of two thousand bucks with me.
I called up the Meru Call center at 1315 hrs and booked a cab for 1400 hrs, which arrived a good 15 minutes before time at the spot. That's where I started liking the services. As I got into the cab, I got many more reasons to prefer this services over a normal cab, cool cab or any other cab from a similar service provider (Mega Cabs, Easy Cabs, etc.).
As I entered the cab, the first thing I notice was the printed pledge along with the driver's identity on the dashboard. I read through the list and cross-verified it at the same time.

The Pledge:
  • I will drive carefully
  • I will not drink and drive
  • I will drive within speed limits
  • I will be alert at all times
  • I will keep my car clean and tidy
  • I will be well groomed
  • I will charge the customer as per the meter
  • I will not smoke and chew pan/gutkha inside my cab
Apart from these, the chauffeur should also know how to speak, read and write in English. Pretty impressive that the chauffeur, Mr. Anwar Azad, passed with a ten-on-ten.
This made me curious to know how Meru functions, leading to a series of questions to Mr. Azad, which ended with a conclusion as to how Meru's modus operandi creates a win-win situation for Meru, the chauffeur and the customer.


Advantage Meru

Meru has a simple rule. Each chauffeur will pay 850 bucks per day to Meru no matter what. The cab can be used in two ways: 1. By taking the bookings made via the Meru call center and 2. If no bookings are currently allocated, then the chauffeur can pick up any one on the road in need of a Meru cab or any previous customer that call him at that time. But whatever the case may, the chauffeur gets a booking or the cab is empty the whole day, he has to pay 850 bucks to the company. Besides, a security deposit of R 10000 is collected from every chauffeur. Furthermore, the chauffeur is also penalized for not abiding to any of the points mentioned in the pledge.

So how does this work out for Meru?
  • Meru has more than 1400 cabs within the boundaries of Mumbai and Thane; i.e. 1400 X 850 = R 11,90,000 per day and R 3,57,00,000 per month.
  • Meru has a single office in Mumbai (2 floors in Mind Space, Malad West) that comprises of the 24X7 Call center and the Chauffeur Training center.
  • Meru has a maintenance center in Kandivali east.
  • Meru earns huge amounts from advertisements pasted on the cabs.
This means that the profit Meru has a constant profit margin and this is not dependent on the number of bookings it gets per day/month. It has a fixed amount of expenses too, which helps maintain the profit margins.


Advantage Chauffeur

The chauffeur has to take care of the following expenses.
  • Paying Meru R 850 per day
  • Gas refills for the cab
  • Any expense on keeping the car clean
The maintenance of the car is taken care by Meru.
After hearing this, initially I got the thought that the chauffeur would hardly be saving anything. But Mr. Azad told me that after taking out the above expenses from the earnings (an average of R 1500 daily), he can still manage to save 12000 to 15000 bucks per month, which is twice the average salary you get as a driver in Mumbai.
Apart from that, there are many other advantages that keep the chauffeur happy.
  • The car remains with him and he can use it for his personal purposes (Meru is only concerned with 850 bucks per day)
  • He and his clothes remain clean and fresh throughout the day
  • He gets to use the luxury of air condition. And since the windows are closed, he doesn't get any health problems from dust and pollution
  • He just has to log off from the company's system, when he wants to use the car for his own purpose
  • Since he is driving a nicely maintained air conditioned cab, he earns respect, which is generally not given to a black-n-yellow cab driver.

Advantage Customer

The most basic necessity of a customer in this case is timely service, and a Meru cab has to be the obvious choice over all the other cab services for the following reasons.

Size does matter:
Meru has more than 1400 cabs in Mumbai itself that cover Mumbai, Thane, Navi Mumbai and the outskirts like Karjat, Pen and Alibaugh. Mumbai has over 2000 kms of road. This means, on an average, there is one Meru cab at every 1.5 km. This makes it possible for the cab to reach in 30 minutes after the booking. Moreover the large number of cabs increases the probability of finding an available cab for your booking.
The competitors are not even close to the count. Mega Cabs has around 500 cabs and Easy Cab has hardly touched the count of 300 cabs.

Fair Fare:
The meter charges for a Meru cab are R 20 for the first kilometer, and R 14 for every subsequent kilometer. These rates are same across the other private cab service providers.
However, if you think a Cool cab (Blue and Silver) is cheaper, the you are terribly wrong. Cool Cab charges a fixed price to travel between two points. For example, the charges from Borivali to Dadar are R 600, whereas if you take a Meru, it would hardly go beyond R 400. What's more is that even our normal black-n-yellow cabs are expensive for long distances. These cabs charge R 16 for the first 1.6 kms, and R 17 for every subsequent kilometer.

Comparison Chart:
Here are some of the facts of different cab services for your comparison. Facts speak for themselves.
When I was inquiring for this information at their respective call centers, everyone was friendly and open enough to give out the information, except for Mega cabs. Here is the conversation I had with their representative, mind you, some senior executive.

Me: Hi, I need some information about Mega cabs.
Exec: Yes sir, where do you want to book the cab for?
Me: No. I just want some information regarding your services.
Exec: Sure sir, go on.
Me: Can you tell me the approximate count of cabs you have in Mumbai?
Exec: Eh ... Actually sir we cannot give you that information. It is against company policy.
Me: As a customer, I am trying to find out the best cab services for me, for which I need this information to make a decision. Don't you think it would help your services grow too?
Exec: Yes sir, but it is against the policy. We are not authorized give out this information.
Me: Ok. Can you find me a person who is authorized to provide me this information.
Exec: No sir. It is against the policy.
Me: What? Finding an authorized person is against the policy?
Exec: No sir. Giving information.
Me: Ok. Can you give me your Chairman's name?
Exec: No Sir. Against company policy.
Me: Even the chairman's name cannot be given out? Are you running some kinda CIA services?

There are some upcoming features in Meru that will make it more convenient and luxurious for traveling: Credit card payment and music system. Some cabs have this already in place. The others will be ready soon, that too, at the same cost.

So, in conclusion, Meru prevails as the best cab service in Mumbai.

I rest my case!
3:57 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 comments

All over a Crap
This story gives more meaning to my recently acquired name ... Crappy. It was in September 2008 during my visit to USA.

A word of caution, if you are a heart patient or can not stand disgusting stories, this one is not for you.

Here I was, standing at the boarding queue at Mumbai International Airport, excited to fly to the US for the first time. In fact it was the first time I was ever gonna be on a flight, so that doubled the excitement. The journey was going to be quite exhausting, 15 hours, and I had two stop overs, one at New York and the other one at Raleigh, before I reached my final destination, Atlanta.

I had already checked-in online and reserved a window seat for myself. I did not expect then that I would be accompanied by a stinky lady (gosh! if you are reading this, please start using a deodarant) and a fat ass man, who would block my way every time I had to go to pee and would make the already uncomfirtable situation even worse. I realized that the window seats are not advisable for frequent fliers who are also frequent 'pee'ers. I had a colleague, who was also flying along with me, but he was seated very far away.

The flight took off! A blood rushing experience. I loved the feel of gravity pulling me down tight on the seat while the plane tried to pull me up and higher. I had to constantly keep gulping air to avoid my ears from shutting down due to air pressure. Soon we were 1500 meters in the air and Mumbai was more visibly clear that from the ground, because from that height you cannot see the clouds of dust you find wherever you go in Mumbai. Moreover, since I was flying during the night, Mumbai seemed to be some kind of jewelry. It was awesome. The unexpected shakes in the plane due to the turbulences made the journey more adventurous.

By the way, did I tell you that Delta airlines have the oldest air hostesses in the world? So when you are traveling on Delta, push aside all your dreams and fantasies of meeting hot, well endowed blondes that ask you if you need any 'services'. Instead, think of all the nightmares where you are surrounded by grannies with loose, wrinkled, weary skin and yellow, chipped dentures. One more thing, if you ever happen to travel to the US, think twice before opting for a Delta flight coz they charge heavy on extra or overweight baggage, flat $150. Also, the food on Delta airlines is substandard. The lady next to me had ordered a veg meal and she was given some boiled vegetables and steamed rice. So I went for the non-veg meal. After all, how bad can you cook a chicken? It was at least eatable. I wanted to call for a glass of wine or whisky but since it was my first time, I didn't know that it is served for free. Damn!

Anyways, the first flight was for 10 hours and I spent around 6 hours watching movies (What happens in Vegas and The Bucket List, a must watch for movie lovers), a couple in a short naps, and another couple looking out of the window. In the mean time I also disturbed the people next to me three times while going for a pee. This one time the fat ass guy took so much time to get off his seat and make some way for me to pass by, had he took a second more I would have wet my pants.

But the story is not about all this crap. It is actually about the 'crap'. I always get a feeling of disgust when it comes to using the public toilets. I advoid using public toilets as much as I can. For peeing it is ok, but when it comes to taking a crap, I would rather prefer it to be a cleaner place. Don't know how many asses sat on this toilet. I don't mean that toilets in planes are not clean, but since it was my first time, I wasn't comfirtable. Also, I tried to fit myself in the 2x2 feet toilet of the plane, but couldn't. So I had to hold on to the pressure.

In the morning, as the flight took the descent for landing, my crappy pressure was on the ascent. It felt like the increasing gravity was actually trying to pull it out of my ass. I had to fight the war of my life to hold it back in and avoid any embarrassment. The flight landed with a thud. While everyone was cursing the pilot for a bad landing, I was thanking him form the bottom of my heart, coz the jerk had pushed the shit a bit inside, buying me some time to clear the security checks and find a toilet. However, I realized that this was a punishment for something I did in the past life (may be I kicked someone's ass so hard that he couldn't shit again). We (me and my colleague) just had 40 minutes stop over time and people who had already been there said that we would definitely miss our next flight. So if I had to crap, it would be after boarding my next flight, to Raleigh.

We cleared the security checks just 5 minutes ahead of time to reach the boarding lane for our flight, where we discovered that some other flight was being boarded and the boarding for our flight would start after 20 mins. Great! So I have time to relax my butt. I gave the custody of my baggage to my colleague and ran to the closest toilet I could find. Thuddddd!!!! Zippppp!!!! Phhhhhrrrrr!!!!! Wuuuuhhooooowwww!!!! I was as relaxed as a mother after giving birth to a baby. Thank you dear god for delaying the flight!

As I was sitting in the stinky vapors, my colleague ran in to the restroom area and started yelling out my name from outside. I was so embarrassed. Damn! Now everyone would know that it was me who was exploding fire crackers in the toilet. But who else knows me here, other than my colleague? So I yelled back "Kya Hua Be?". He replied, "Abbey, our flight has started boarding, you better be quick". I was done with the main act and was already proceeding towards the concluding act, so I thought I would manage to make it on time and said "Ok. Coming in two minutes".

The concluding act after a crap, for Indians at least, means washing your ass clean with water. But the Americans save water where you actually need it. They just wipe off their asses. It was similar to what Alanis Morisette sung in the song Ironic: "It's thousand spoons when all you need is a knife". In this case for me it was: "It's thousand toilet rolls when all you need is a jet". It was my first experience of cleaning up the mess with a sheet of paper and no water. No matter how well you clean it with a paper, it always gives you a feeling of "something is still there" and that gave me goose bumps throughout my journey till the hotel.

I zipped up my pants, washed my hands and ran towards the boarding queue. We handed our boarding passes to the attendant and he said the three golden words that kept ringing in my ears for the next 5 minutes ... "Flight took off!". Apparently, the flight had finished boarding and taken off. They had started boarding the next flight. That bloody attendant had told me the flight will not board until next 20 minutes and the flight had already finished boarding and taken off in just 15 minutes. I looked at my colleague. He was so pissed off at me as we had missed our flight coz I was in the toilet taking a crap. But he couldn't say a word to me as he was a junior to me and this was our first project together.

I did not know what to do next. Will they put us on some other flight? Do we need to pay for that flight? Or are we stuck at the New York Airport? I imagined myself like Tom Hanks from the Terminal spending the next few months at the airport. I asked the attendant what to do and he guided me to the service desk. Behind the desk was a lady holding her head and cursing the headache. I thought this would be the worst time to speak to her, but I had no choice. "Excuse Me, we have missed our flight to Raleigh. Our luggage is on the flight. What should we do?" I asked. She came back with the million dollar question, "Why did you miss the flight?" It was so embarrasing for me that the next words took ages to come out of my mouth, just like Atal Bihari Vajpayee, "Be...cause ... because I ... I ... was in the ... the restroom". She flared her nose and pushed her eyebrows up to her forehead with surprise ... No, with shock. I am sure I was the first person to miss a flight over a crap. She did not say a word for the next 10 seconds, but then she realized she needs to speak something here, "Ehhh! Ok! Hang on!". Thank god she didn't ask anything further.

She checked the flight schedule and said "There is a flight at 4PM for Atlanta, but you will have to wait in the Airport premises until then." It was 9AM at that time and spending 7 hours at the ariport did not seem viable to us. "Is there any other way?" I asked. She checked again and said, "There is another flight from Laguardia Airport, which will leave at 10.15PM. But for that you need to catch a cab and be there before 9:40AM. It is 40 minutes in a cab from here. That is not possible, plus you have to pay $80 for the cab". So we had to go for the 4PM flight. We both agreed on the 4PM flight and asked the lady to check us in. The next thing was a surprise.

She keyed in our names for the 4PM flight, when she noticed that the attendant at the boarding queue had already checked us in for the flight from Laguardia to Atlanta. This was a mistake from the airport crew, they boarded us in a flight without asking us for our preference. I didn't think of it as a mistake, but the lady herself admitted it. She wrote a traveller's check of $80, gave it to me and said, "There would be a cab named Roskstar waiting for you outside the airport. Give this to the cab driver. He'll take to Laguardia airport for your next flight". This journey was really turning out to be rocking. I was amazed with the quality, speed and the level of services being provided by the airport authorities. God bless America!

We took the cab, reached just in time at the Laguardia airport and boarded on to our flight to Atlanta. it was a 2 hour journey, which passed by smoothly looking at the chick across the aisle; tall, slim, cute looks, mini-skirt, perfect bust ... Man! She was Grrrrrrreeeeeaaaatttt!

We reached the Atlanta Airport and started looking for our baggage. We learned from the service desk that the flight from Raleigh to Atlanta had already landed and our baggage would be on aisle number 6. We could not find our baggage on aisle 6 or any other aisle and feared that our baggae was misplaced. We went to the baggage counter and showed them the baggage numbers stuck on our boarding passes. She went into a room and brought out the baggage which was safely placed in a corner after no one claimed for it for half an hour. Again I was very impressed with the organized work.

I was happy that everything ended well. Otherwise I would have had to face a lot of embarrassments from my colleague, the airport authorities and most importantly, my managers, and that too, all over a crap!

4:47 PM | Category: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 0 comments